If we’re not moving forward, are we moving backward?

Ah… summer for the student. Sometimes I feel like I have so much time on my hands I don’t know what to do with myself. Other times I’m worried that before I know it, it’s going to be the first day of school again and I’ll look back and wonder if I spent the past three months wisely. Do you realize that we’re on our last week of July? Hasn’t time gone by crazy fast? August is looming before me like some dense cloud, judging me to see if I have done enough this summer. How many things on my to-do list can I tick off with a good conscience?

Perhaps I am being too hard on myself because I have had lots of time to think and reflect on my life. Shelving books doesn’t require too much brain power and I’ve been training myself to separate my consciousness from the physical routine of the job. I was talking to my mom on the phone yesterday, and she suggested that I write out what kind of life I want, and I need to do to make it happen. It’s really not as easy as I thought, to make dreams happen, I mean. I always figured that I would graduate, get a job at a big company, and have a steady income. It’s still possible, but what if… it’s not enough? Do I want a house in the suburbs? Is that kind of dream outdated in the 21st century of limitless possibilities, and expansive entrepreneurial opportunities? Is it necessary to set a deadline for when I want a mortgage, a kid, a marriage, a clearly defined plan? I want to travel, and I don’t know where I want to lay down my roots, or if I even want to. My boyfriend and I have been talking a lot lately about the future. The thing that scares me the most is to stay still. One of the main reasons why I left Vancouver was because I was leading a stagnant life. Nothing about it was worth talking about. I think we both miss Japan for its excitement, and the sense of adventure. The second we walked out the apartment, we were faced with cultural challenges and language barriers. Every day felt new. I am looking for something more than a 9-5 gig, dinner in front of the TV, falling asleep on the couch, and repeat the next morning.

On a lighter note, this weekend we went IKEA shopping and got a bunch of little things to organize our place. Two items that have really made a difference are the picture frames, and the three-compartment hamper. Here is the cupcake paper cut properly displayed on our bookshelf:

Imagine that, but three of it together.

labels for each compartment from left to right: dress clothes, linen, daily wear

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One thought on “If we’re not moving forward, are we moving backward?

  1. I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog- because I relate to you on many levels. Especially on this post. I am a student, I moved, I am trying to figure out the future.
    But I guess it’s for everyone like that, right?
    Either ways, I find your blog rather…human and that’s fresh and really interesting to me.
    p.s. Don’t stress, you’ll figure it out.

    Keep Updating!

    Ruku x
    http://rukutaneja.wordpress.com/

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